The Chillerspot.

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This was Random.

1

Saturday was “test-your-temper” kind of day.

Actually I don’t want to rehashed everything because I’m chilled now.

I don’t like screaming or yelling during heated conversations but I know my own limits. I know my own thresholds and I’m even afraid of what I can actually do when I lose it. I know myself and I’m still learning more of it each day especially on how I deal with circumstances that come my way. I know how I used to get mad, it took me almost a decade of control, of positive thoughts, of managing my anger and of learning to think quadruple times before I say something I would regret. Oh good Lord, thanks for always helping me out.

I had my own dose of heavy traffic in Bacolod and I can’t help but say shit almost a hundred times.

I almost actually screamed at the bitchy cashier of a famous resto here in Bacolod because she has an attitude I cannot just shrug off. It’s your job little missy and I’m your customer here so don’t be a bitch to me. I did my sermon though in a nice way and talked to some waiters to please tell her about good customer service and when she’s stress with her work she should not actually act that way. It’s unprofessional. The manager and the waiters talked to me and apologized.

I controlled myself.

I was about to lose my temper but I reminded myself that it isn’t worth it. I am well-educated.

The Taxi Driver.


The cab driver was actually an a-hole. He won’t drive me to the office because of traffic and he talked about waiting, about how traffic irritates him blah blah blah and more blahs.

I just inhaled and exhaled deeply. I know I just calmed my senses minutes after that bitch stressed me out and here I go again with a nag driver.

How worst can this day be?

Oh well.

I just said “hipos na nong ah, damo storya manaog na lang ko hindi na pagdugangi ang init ka ulo ko.”

He hushed himself after I said my piece then I went out and slammed the door.

It did not stop there.

On my way home, I encountered a guy who keeps on asking questions about me and my work. I can sense that he’s actually drunk and I am actually annoyed.

He asked for my number and I definitely don’t want to give it. He gave me his phone and insisted so I typed in 09191234567 and he said that it’s not my number. The trike driver sense my madness so he offered to take the guy home even if that guy insisted the driver that he’ll take me home first. I was actually gathering all the chill pills I can find because I’m almost losing it. He insisted that he does not care if I have a boyfriend blah blah blah and I really really want to hit his face. I just smiled while I’m actually thinking of the possibility of me breaking his bones.

I don’t want a boyfriend.
I don’t need a boyfriend to save me.

I can handle myself. (***hair flips***)

I’m glad he just went off screaming I want your number while I shouted “go home, you’re drunk! “

I told the trike driver how pesky it is to deal with drunk people at unholy hours. I don’t actually believe in love that happens over beer,tequila, rhum whatever…

I believed in love shared over memories, coffee and good food.

I need a manfriend not a boyfriend. I want someone who’s actually mature enough in dealing with life. I want someone to save me from my own demons not just someone who will save me from the evilness of the world.

Anyhoo, all those are random stuffs that almost made me a monster but I’m glad I surpassed it without doing nasty.

Thank you, Lord.

Still positive….


SCL. ©

Suffering.

3

chillerspot:

Even Jesus suffered for mankind…

There’s a certain degree of agony or pain that we need to endure for us to have a full understanding of our true purpose in life. I guess we really need to go through the things that we don’t like in order for us to fully appreciate and enjoy the things we do…

A blog post I wrote 2 years ago and I realized that at a very young age I was able to acknowledge that the pain we felt has a purpose.

Today, part of the sufferings I had unfolded and it made me better. I’m smiling because I wrote with sense during those dark days. #akalainmo

Reblogged 2 days ago from chillerspot
1682

And I found myself lured into you… I cannot escape the feeling and it keeps on growing each day.

I love you.

Reblogged 2 days ago from kushandwizdom
2671

thelovenotebook:

More good vibes here

Reblogged 2 days ago from thelovenotebook
857

True … :)

Reblogged 2 days ago from leilockheart

I have no energy right now. I actually have lots of things all piled up and to-do list to work on. I am here in my room sulking and doing nothing. I am wallowed by my thoughts.

I feel like shit for no apparent reason.

Welcome to another episode of depression due to I have no idea. I just feel that despite of all the good probably great things that have happened I am still lost. I am still incomplete. I am still living a life far away from what I’ve imagined when I was fifteen. I know how this works, I shut people at home. I sleep, I cry, I pray, I write and I blog but I need to fix myself for work and put on my game face. Nobody is allowed to see my vulnerable side. I won’t let anyone know how my life works. I don’t trust so easily.

I am deciphering on how I’ll go about with my life because everything actually is still a little bit jaded. I know I’ll still save people but I cannot save my own self.

Monday.

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kushandwizdom:

More good vibes here

Reblogged 1 week ago from kushandwizdom

Sunday. 08.24.14

Quarter life crisis.

Dear God,

I know you know how much I’ve been through. I have no idea how I survived until now. It’s hard to juggle things and feel like a superhero. It sucks knowing people depend on you. I never appreciated myself too much though, what I know is that I am good and when I want something so badly, I worked hard for it until someone came along the way and told me that I’m actually good and can even be great. All of my life I wanted to achieve things to make my mom proud and I know I’ve accomplished that mission but it did not end there, I still feel so incomplete.

Here I am, writing away my feelings and acknowledge my sadness. I am sad despite all the good things that have come my way, maybe because I am getting tired of being a superhero and stop myself from saving people, from understanding, from helping … I’m tired of being like this for all the damn years I lived. I want someone to save
me. I want someone to take care of me and be with me in my quest to make this world better.

I can’t find him still.

It double sucks when you’ve found someone whom you really like but he has a different preference though. I am a sucker for a man who has that wit and that every conversation seems to have a lot of sense and is very mature enough in dealing life as we all know it.

Lastly, I know I’ve been blabbing about someone for years here but I just can’t really figure him out until I finally give up. If someone loves you, he’ll go after you… I guess it’s already too long and it’s better this way, to just simply care for someone and be buddies.

Oh God, I still don’t know how to go about my life but I don’t want depression to eat the best part of me. It’s a constant struggle. I’m stressed, I’m tired and I’m sad but I won’t give up because you’re there, my friends are there and life is still livable though.

Yeah. Thanks a lot Lord.

5734
"Sometimes,
despite all of the pain
and all of the suffering
I feel like I’ve grown.
I feel as though I’m
stronger than I used
to be. And I try to hold
on to that feeling; that
I’ve been through hell
and back again at least
for a reason."

m.l.b, stronger (via traced-veins)

Oh diba … I’m stronger and better now.

Reblogged 1 week ago from lovequotesrus

BRAINY.

The best feeling in this world is not when someone tells you that you are beautiful because I actually find it superficial but that moment when someone whispers and tell you that you are great, that you can be great.

I am elated by his words and was actually caught off guard. I’ve heard people telling me that I’m smart but never have I believed it as much as I do now. Thank you for telling me that I have a strong personality and very knowledgeable. Thank you for making me feel amazing as an individual. Coming from a brainy, well-learned, credible and fun person, I feel so grateful and humbled to be complimented by you.

Thanks for making this day extra special, I actually hugged you tight because I am so happy to hear those words, words of affirmation. I earned a great friend and I hope to get to know you more. I promised to work my way to success and I swear I’ll make use of my brains.


Thanks Mike. :)

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